Saturday, April 23, 2011

Dear Baby, Come out, come out, wherever you are

The plus side of waking up at four A.M. is that I'm getting some extra laundry done before I go to farmers market, and apparently four also happens to be peak writing* time. Really neither of those are good enough reasons (in my humble opinion) to be up before the sun. To be fair, I can't think of any really good reason to be up this early, with the exception of being in labor. I feel like lack of sleep is something best saved for after the baby is born. My two year old who has crawled into bed with me and is not allowing me as much space as my current figure requires seems to have a differing opinion.

It's not even that I'm tired of being pregnant. I'm just tired of going to the doctor. It's a once a week, half my day down the drain, festival of not getting anything done except wrangling the children around a small waiting room and avoiding the loss of either one of them. Sure, I understand that complications can crop up in the last month, but I don't understand why I have to wait two hours for an appointment to basically confirm that I still have a baby in my belly.

Doctor: How are you feeling?

Me: Pregnant

Doctor: Have you started drinking, smoking, or doing crack cocaine in the past week?

Me: No...wait...ya...No

Doctor: And I see here you are gaining weight.

Me: Thanks for mentioning it.

Doctor: And your children still seem to enjoy chewing on the chairs in the waiting room.

Me: They do keep busy.


Me: So.....could you make up some lab work or something, so that I don't feel like I wasted my day? K thanks.

I'm going to bring my laundry next time and fold it while I wait. Maybe they will get me in faster.

*Note: peak writing hours and peak editing hours do not coincide. Once I decide on some hours when I feel like putting forth an effort in the grammar and spelling department you'll know.

Thursday, April 21, 2011


I will on occasion be re-posting old blogs from my personal accounts on here. This is one that, though written over two years ago (shortly before the birth of my son) is very applicable today. Enjoy.....and I apologize if this is a repeat for you.

Where is the emoticon for hormonal angst when you need it????? Seriously people this is going to drive me not......and I feel the need to repeat NOT call to ask me if I have had the baby. You may however call for the following reasons....

a.) to just talk
b.) to ask me how I am feeling
c.) to inquire about the strangely cold weather
d.) to tell me I'm pretty
e.) if there was a bizarre bakery accident and now the coffee shop down the street is giving away free cookies......don't ask me what sort of accident would involve free cookies, I haven't figured that part out yet. A girl can dream though.
f.) to hang out
g.) who am I kidding........anything involving food.

To make a long rant shorter than it could be, but not nearly as short as I am sure most of you would like....I WILL LET YOU KNOW WHEN I HAVE THE BABY!!!!! I promise, you will be made aware. I have a list of phone numbers in my purse ready and waiting for this occasion. I have decided to entitle this the "nice list", people on the nice list will be notified after the baby is born. Anybody else who asks me if I've had the baby yet will be put on what I like to call the "naughty list", these people will be notified when the child turns five.

Yes, I am serious. There is now a naughty list...and not the good kind.

For Kicks and Giggles

For kicks and giggles I (with eight months of baby in my belly) decided to measure my waist. Though there was much kicking and merriment on the part of the impending spawn, there was no giggling on my fact I didn't really find it amusing at all.

The only thing I really brought away from the whole ordeal was a sense of awe in the rapid expansion of my belly (20 inches in 8 months wowza) and a name for this blog....which I had to reverse because "For Kicks and Giggles" is already taken.